The Bedlam of the Yoda Onesie

by Michael

When we found out that we were going to have a baby, my wife and I knew that we would not be shying away from our geeky/nerdy sides and that our particular fandoms would be something we’d be incorporating into raising our child.  Rather it being a Doctor Who themed Alphabet book, or a Harry Potter-themed pregnancy announcement, we’re not really holding back. So when my wife found a Yoda Ears onesie on BoxLunch’s website, there was zero hesitation.  This was before we knew he was a he, and not knowing the sex at the time was irrelevant to us; the Star Wars Yoda ears Infant One-Piece was being purchased, the first piece of clothing purchased for our baby had been completed.

Or so we thought.

Or so….we thought….

The First Order

The initial order happened in the summer.  The pandemic was going strong, but lockdowns or curfews weren’t really in place yet.  My wife had found the Yoda onesie so she was left to order it, which she did.  We loved this onesie so much, we referred to it as the Baby Yoda onesie, the whole thing was just perfect. From the hood with the ears (I mean his Dad is a big of a hoodie fanatic!) to the words on the onesie itself “The force is strong with this child” it was all perfect to us.  So perfect and cut in fact, it was agreed upon that we’d not just buy one size, but 2 to cover our bases.  We’re talking a 6 month and a 12 month of the same onesie.  What can I say? We’re thorough.  Plus as a photographer, I’m pretty sure my wife had already planned photos of the baby in this onesie crawling around.

Weeks go by and I didn’t really think much of it, but one evening I randomly bring up the Baby Yoda onesie to my wife, who near immediately started breaking down.  Unbeknownst to me, I had touched on an extremely sensitive and emotionally triggering subject.  What ended up happening, was that when my wife placed the order, she had the onesies delivered to the closest store, to be picked up.  The closest BoxLunch is a little over an hour from us in Lexington, KY.  Typically not a big deal, we’d find ourselves in Lexington every so often, the drive wasn’t that big of a deal. However, the day after the order was placed stronger restrictions came down from the Governor’s office.  And unto that, working late and other responsibilities, getting up to the store wasn’t as simple a task. Before she knew it, too much time had passed and the store had returned the items to their warehouse due to failure to be picked up.  Once this realization hit my wife, she had tried to get back online to reorder and have that order shipped to our house, only to find they were sold out.  True heartbreak ensued then as the excitement and images of our baby crawling around in the Yoda onesie had been extreme.

Learning of all this and seeing my wife’s heartache immediately launched me into an attempt to find this Baby Yoda onesie online.  To my shock and disappointment, the world wide web was a barren wasteland when it came to looking for this thing.  No other sites had anything like it.  No one was reselling on Facebook or eBay or anywhere.  Literally, the only place I could find it was the listing on the BoxLunch website where it was listed as ‘Out of Stock’.  My attempt to be the White Knight came up painfully short.

A New Hope

Fast forward a few more months.  We now know we’re having a boy. I’ve traveled a few hours from home for work, and I’m in the middle of a meeting making some Zoom calls when my wife sends me a screenshot; the Yoda Ears Onesie was no longer listed as ‘Out of Stock’, but available albeit on backorder.  No questions, no hesitation, no debate. I ask her why she hasn’t already ordered it (this time having it shipped to the house) and she replied with she was about to, but couldn’t help but show me.  We agree again on getting 2 onesies to ensure our little guy could get plenty of months in this awesome outfit.  She goes to order while I’m talking with a few different users on some upcoming technology.  Once I come back to my phone, I see a message saying that it’s not letting her order.  She doesn’t know what the problem is, but the transaction isn’t going through.

This is my second chance to be the White Knight of the Baby Yoda Onesie story!  I immediately go online with my phone and get to the proper website.  I proceeded to preorder a 6 month and a 12 month Yoda Onesie.  Because it is on backorder, the only option is a credit card, so I type in my information and get my baby boy some geeky clothes ordered!!  I complete the order, the transaction is successful, and I take a screenshot of my confirmation email and share it with my now ecstatic wife. I had succeeded in my White Knight accomplishment.

The onesies weren’t set to be shipped for approx. 6 weeks, so I yet again, let the things slip my mind a bit.  At this point, I felt we were golden.

The Phantom Menace

Fast forward 7 weeks, I had become curious about our little man’s clothes, so I find my order confirmation email, which showed what I was shown nearly two months back, that they were on backorder, but their approximate shipping date had already elapsed.  An immediate dread hit me as I clicked the link to check my order status.  That dread hit harder when the status page still showed as back-ordered, but now, rather than giving me an Expected to Ship by date, all it showed me was ‘null’.

Feeling defeated, I take a screenshot of my phone’s screen and send it to my wife while proclaiming my distaste of the whole situation.  Feeling my White Knight status being revoked because I had failed to stay on top of the order. My wife then goes back on the BoxLunch website to see that not only was the Yoda Onesie showing in stock, but available to order, and at a slight discount to what I had paid previously.  She proceeds to place the same order we had cumulatively placed 2 times previously.  She paid, and received confirmation of her order and that the shipment would arrive the following week.

Disappointed my order failed, but thankful that at the end of the day we were going to get our onesies, I decided to be safe, I’d wait until we had my wife’s order in hand before canceling my ‘null’ order.

Can you guess what happens next?  Probably so considering I’ve taken the time to write all this out with Star Wars-related heading and everything, but still…

The Clone Wars

The day arrives. After months of attempts, our package was due to be delivered.  I check the mailbox as I get home that afternoon, and we don’t have just 1 package, but 2.  Now, husbands, I realize that this is probably not an unfamiliar position, especially during the pandemic.  Multiple packages arriving on any given day, unbeknownst to you what they are.  It’s especially been true for me as my wife has done a bit of shopping for our little guy, so at any random time, it seems a new package is in the mailbox or waiting at our door.  However, these two packages looked and felt identical, and while looking at the shipping labels, one was to myself, while the other to my wife, with the same return address.

Yep!  My ‘null’ order had been shipped too (verified by a recheck of the order status on the website) and now, after months of trying to get even just 1 Yoda Onesie, we were now looking at having a total of 4.  When it rains Baby Yodas, it pours.

Here’s hoping our little guy is a Star Wars fan like ole Dad because Mom and Dad have both been through a tumultuous time just for him to look cute while crawling around with little Yoda ears.

No doubt it’ll all be worth it though! We’ve already been putting one to good use!!


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