I’ll be the first one to admit I’ve had a rough few days. The whole thing with preschool open house, and see pictures posted on Facebook by other parents, it just got to me. I’ve moped around and tried my best to force my way out of it. Am I there yet? No, but I’m doing better.
I do dread tomorrow afternoon though. Something I almost already dread now, especially after a long day of being on the road. Rather than coming home to a loud house, with a little girl running, excited to see me, and wanting me to play Lalaloopsy before I can even get my shoes off, I now come home to an empty, quiet house, with only the hum from the ceiling fans to greet me. Sometimes I find myself just sitting around, in silence, trying to remember the sounds of the kids being in the house.
I don’t look forward to coming home now. I typically have to drive about 25-30 minutes from my office to home. The drive always seems like it takes twice that, and the closer I get, the heavier reality sits in. I can ignore things for a few hours while at work because I’m at work, it’s not like the kids would be with me then. It’s when the day ends, and I’m facing coming home to the hum of the fans that things that I can’t ignore things anymore. I don’t get to be greeted at the door with excitement after a long day at work, and I’ll likely never have it again.
It’s the small things you took for granted, that you miss the most.