Baby with a Vice Grip

by Michael

Okay, so recently my Bug has developed quite a talent; she’s become a human vice grip!!  Sure, when she was smaller, she’d grab my goatee if it was too long, or pull on my chest hair if I held her without a shirt on, but it was just a little baby reaching out and grabbing, it was cute and funny, but now?  I think she enjoys causing her Daddy pain and determined to get me to cry or yell “mercy!”

In the last week, she has started kinda petting my arm hair, before she puts a death grip on it like she’s getting ready to hang from it!  Yesterday, she just looked up at me and grabbed me by my goatee as to say “Daddy, get this off!!”  She’s pulled my chest hair I don’t know how many times, but none of this compares, NONE OF IT to what happened to me a week ago!!

We were doing what is somewhat becoming a morning ritual, that when she wakes up, we’ll be somewhat lazy and lay around in bed, watch one of her favorite cartoons (currently Kai-Lan).  Well, we were doing that and she was crawling over me like she does sometimes when she wants to get off the bed, sat up and in one of the quickest, smoothest, most determined actions put a full-on death drip on my right nipple!!  I mean this hurt, and I couldn’t get her to let go for anything!  I have no clue why she did this and has shown no action like she’s going to duplicate it (although I’m wearing more shirts around her) but man!  You talking about pain!  Pain and burning that lasted at least a good 30 minutes too!  I have no clue what brought on this attack, or where she got such Supergirl level strength, and I’m not sure I want to!  As long as I’m more cautious to wear a shirt, and let her brush Daddy’s hair with a comb, I’m hoping I’ll be ok, because burning nipples from daughter’s super strength pinch are not how I want to spend my Saturday mornings, and if she gets a hold of my goatee with such strength, I won’t have to shave it off, because she’ll take half of it with her!!

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